Coming full circle

 Remember back to elementary school or to church when we would take shoe boxes, wrap them in wrapping paper, and fill them with small things like pencils, clothes, shoes, candy, and small stuffed animals?  I remember doing this a lot when I was a girl and being told that these shoe boxes would be given to children who lived in other countries and couldn’t afford things like pencils or new clothes, but not really being able to grasp what that would be like.  I always could get pencils and new clothes, and although I knew that this was a good thing to do, it didn’t really mean anything to me.

                Well, fast-forward several years to this past weekend, when I visited an evangelical community in the mountains.  They were having a campaña, which is an annual four night campaign to convert people to Christianity and inspire and motivate the host church, and involves a lot of singing, praying, praising, and hour-long sermons.  There is also a lot of amens, alleluias, glorias, and repeated phrases.  They had a band to accompany the music that was composed of a conga, timbalis, maracas (yeah percussion!) and guitar, and everyone sang along and clapped.  The host church had built a special open-air structure out of bamboo stalks and palm leaves for the event and had brought in a generator to light and mic the band, the preacher and the congregants.  The host church had also bought a cow and had cooked the meat and smoked the organs and bones on a bamboo pallet over a fire.  They were selling chunks of meat, hojaldas (fried bread), arroz con pollo (rice with chicken), chicha (juice), and coffee to raise money for the church.  People from the community and from everywhere else nearby had come to attend this campaña, some people walking from as far as two hours away.  Women and children were sitting in the folding chairs under the lighted bamboo-palm structure, while men lounged, leaned and sat around the periphery of the circle of light.  People were either participating in the service, chatting quietly amongst themselves, ordering food, or serving food.  During the day kids go barefoot and people get really dusty because of all the dry dirt in the area, but here at the campaña they were wearing their best clothes and shoes and had their hair nicely combed.

                As the last service ended, I noticed that the children of the church were being given these shoe boxes that had been wrapped with Christmas wrapping paper.  In Panama, or at least in this community, people do not unwrap their presents in front of everyone (perhaps because it is rude to show off what you have to other people?) so the children took their boxes and dispersed.  The volunteer that I was visiting, however, asked one of the girls if she could see what was inside, so the little girl opened the box and meticulously took each thing out one by one and looked at it.  She took out No. 2 pencils and crayons, carefully unfolded a coloring sheet, took the rubber band off of and unfolded a headband, examined a green foam visor, and squeezed the Christmas penguin stuffed animal.  Each thing she looked at and handled with an expression of discovery and awe.  After examining everything, she dutifully put everything back, wrapping up the headband and putting the rubber band on, placing the No. 2 pencils and crayons back where she found them, folding up the coloring sheet, and putting the penguin back on top before closing the box.  But then she opened the box, grabbed the penguin, closed the box and ran off to have someone else open her box.

                 I was struck by the realization that these boxes were sent by Project Christmas Child, boxes that I probably dutifully and blindly sent when I was a kid, and now I had seen the full circle of the giving process that I had never known before.  I wish I could properly explain how moved I was by the entire experience.  So often we do philanthropic actions thinking that we are being good people by giving to someone who has less, but, at least for me, I had never fully understood or appreciated what it meant to have less until this night.  And even now, despite the fact that I, too, use a latrine and didn’t have electricity, I still don’t fully understand what it means, and I realized that I never will.  It was amazing to me how carefully she handled everything and how happy she was to have that penguin.  It takes so little to make these kids happy here.  I mean, the girl was wearing shoes that were too big for her, didn’t have many toys, and had been content.  Now that she was given a penguin by an anonymous donor, her little world was complete. 

Volunteer Visit

This weekend we all went to different sites to visit with a current volunteer and see firsthand what the life of a volunteer is like and also to relax a little after a really busy schedule.  I went to a site up in the mountains in the province of Herrera.  To get there, I first had to catch a bus to the provincial capital of Herrera, called Chitre.  Chitre isn’t too big, but it does have a McDonald’s.  I went there to fill up my water bottle and discovered that McDonald’s is really expensive for Panamá.  Prices in Panama much lower than prices in the United States – for example, this weekend I bought a substantial meal of beef, rice, lentils and a salad for $1.75.  But the price of a Big Mac is the same as it is in the United States.  I would have expected a small fries to be 25 cents, maybe, but it was a dollar.  I was a little surprised.  Chitre is hot and bright and brown.  Of course, when we went to the grocery store, I almost went a little crazy with all the variety they had.  So much fruit and vegetables to choose from!  Really, there were only ten or fifteen different types of produce, but compared to a few cucumbers, carrots and tomatoes, I was in heaven.

The next stage of my trip was to take a small bus (busito) to a smaller town, Las Minas, in the mountains.  Then we caught a chiva (a truck with a covered bed) to an even smaller town even further in the mountains.  On the way we passed some amazing views.  I like sitting toward the front of the truck so I can see over the top of the cab and feel the wind.  The dirt road winds through the mountains, often on the crests, and all around are hills and mountains of forest and pastures.  In the distance we could see the Pacific Ocean in between the mountains of the Azuero Peninsula and the islands that rise from the water.  It’s quite a view.  The last part of the journey we took on horseback.  We got off the chiva the even smaller town where my volunteer had left her horse and a horse she had borrowed for me to use.  It was really fun to ride a horse again, but also very terrifying.  We rode down a really steep hill, until we crossed a river, and then rode up a really steep hill to get to her house.  On the way down I felt like I and my saddle were going to slide down the horse’s neck, and/or we would all fall head first down the hill, and on the way up I felt like I and my saddle were going to fall off the horse rear.  (I asked my volunteer what I should do if the horse trips and falls, and she suggested trying to get my feet out of the stirrups as fast as possible…)  The horses were also really skinny, with thin necks and well-defined hip bones, and I was certain that I, my backpack, and our groceries were going to crush my mare.  But in the end, the horses did not trip, we did not fall, and only the bread was slightly smooshed from the journey.

I realize while I was visiting this site that Peace Corps eases us into living in these types of communities.  When I first visited my training community, I thought my host family’s house was a modest, simple house.  But now, after seeing the community of this volunteer, my host family’s house seems like a luxurious mansion.  We may use a latrine and have a bucket bath, but we have electricity, tile floors, and a pretty nice TV.

                The site itself was really neat.  It was really spread out, with a bunch of houses on different parts of the mountain.  It is an evangelical community, and everyone was very respectful and welcoming.  There were two stores and they were in someone’s house.  The volunteer lived in a one-room house, running drinkable water with no electricity and had the nicest latrine in the area.  And everyone was so excited for me to come visit.  Everyone wanted to meet me and asked me how I liked the community and when I would come back.  The kids are really shy but warm up to you really quickly if you pay them enough attention.  They particularly loved my volunteer – everyone there did.  They always said hi to her and called her name when they saw her.  They always greet everyone they see and the men at least shake hands with everyone they know. 

                We pretty much relaxed and talked the entire weekend.  She has a very comfortable hammock that looks over the mountains toward the ocean, and we spent a lot of time just sitting and chatting and becoming friends.  Sunday we went to a local baseball game.  The field serves as both a baseball field and a soccer field, and is the only really flat surface in the mountains.  Part of the outfield extended across the street and down the mountain, and whenever the ball went into the forest the runners were only allowed to advance one base (it’s not the outfielders’ fault if they can’t find the ball in the forest).  We also visited with members of her host family and got to know the community and the kids.  Whenever I visit anyone, it is perfectly fine to just sit without talking.  Silences aren’t awkward!  They are natural, accepted and expected.  Having the company is what really matters.  This makes me really happy, because sometimes I enjoy just sitting with someone without saying anything, and knowing that that’s ok is a great relief. 

                                Monday I hiked out of the site and began the long journey in reverse.  Unfortunately one of my fellow trainees was sick, so I stuck with her until she felt well enough to travel and then accompanied her to the approved clinic.  There has been a virus going around our training community and around us, that involves vomiting and diarrhea and lasts a few days before going away.  Luckily I have been spared (knock on wood!) but it’s been hitting people really hard.

El Diablo Rojo

Panamá currently has two types of buses that can be used in the city.  One is the new, air-conditioned, slightly more expensive (though probably safer) metrobus, that looks pretty much like a lot of inner-city buses in the States.  It is comfortable with your own defined seat and lots of standing space.  The other is a large redecorated school bus that has been painted with murals on the outside and decked with feather boas and streamers on the inside.  The only air flow comes from lowered windows, the seats that normally sit two school children now sit three adults, and people cram in the aisle.  But despite the discomfort, El Diablo Rojo, as this type of bus is called, has a lot of character – it is an awesome and visible part of Panamánian culture.  It is also being phased out so that the new and safer metrobuses can lead the way to a more modern Panamánian infrastructure.  As a side note, Panamá is also working on installing their own metro system, which is causing a lot of construction and a lot of traffic, but in the end will probably make Panamá City a lot more easily traveled.  

This past weekend we had to go on an adventure in the big city, Panamá (here they just say Panamá when they are talking about the capital) to help us learn how to use the public transportation system as well as learning where important locations in the city are, such as the hospitals, clinics and hotel where we will normally stay as volunteers.  My group finished around 11am, and we were allowed to wander around as long as we returned to our community by 6pm, so we decided to go to Casco Viejo, or the old part of the capital.  This part of town is beautiful, with crumbling ruins and old cathedrals next to restored colonial buildings that house new and fashionable stores, restaurants and cafés.  It is also found on a small peninsula that juts into the bay and offers an awesome view of the city, the ocean, and all the boats waiting to enter the canal.  (I tried to get a good picture that captures Panama city – apparent modernity with high-rise buildings and cool commodities, but underdeveloped infrastructure and poorly maintained buildings.  Panama City is definitely growing and developing everyday (a new metro and a huge project to widen the canal), but it still has a while to go.)  I greatly enjoyed Casco Viejo.  The only thing was that there were a bunch of tourists.  While I recognize that touristy places will have lots of tourists, it was really weird to be back in that environment after a week of living in the country with a latrine and bucket shower.  I already feel like I live here and belong here.

To get to Casco Viejo, we had an interesting encounter with a cab driver.  We were advised to take a cab but not pay more than $5 for four people.  In Panamá, the cabs do not have meters; instead you have to agree on an amount before you agree to take the cab.  Well, the first cab that we hailed asked for $8, but when we said no, he lowered his price to $5, so we agreed.  But after we got into the cab, the driver began ranting to us about how gringos always think they need to go with the cheapest price, but the taxi drivers that offer the cheapest price will rob you and kill you.  Someone in my group argued with him about how we were told by another taxi driver (her host father), our Peace Corps contact, and a policeman not to accept more than $5, to which he responded that a taxi driver who can survive by undercharging is probably trafficking drugs, and policeman don’t know anything about being a taxi driver.  Of course, he was lying.  $5 is considered standard, if not generous, by pretty much everyone I have told this story to, but it was really fun to listen to him rant and scold us in Spanish, and then turn around at the end and offer to give us a ride back to the terminal when we were done in Casco Viejo. 

My New Panamanian Diet

The first day I was here I was served delicious pancakes for breakfast, but now I am generally served hot tea, starch and meat.  I have had breakfasts of slices of white bread and bologna with peppercorns in it, hot dogs and some sort of creamy something (NOT oatmeal or cream of wheat), yucca and hard-boiled egg (one of my favorites), and cornflakes (a classic that I make myself when my host mom is not there to cook for me).  After Spanish class in the morning we return to our houses and are fed lunch, generally starch and meat.  Frequently I have had rice and chicken without a single bit of vegetables.  Also frequently I am served pasta with chicken and a side of rice.  Though, with lunch also comes chicha (juice) and since my family has an orange tree and a japonesa tree (like orange, but sweeter and not quite as spherical), we drink a lot of fresh chicha.  I even got to help make some the other day.   During lunch time I also take the opportunity to pick a japonesa or an orange and take with me to class.  This is often the only produce I eat because for dinner, I am again served starch and meat.   I get so excited now when my host mom puts carrots or celery or onions in the dishes, because I haven’t really had vegetables since we left Panamá City.  I think it’s really affecting me, too.  I have absolutely no energy and although I am not hungry, I feel really weak, as if I am imploding.  I’ve started taking vitamins, am trying to introduce more produce into my diet (I bought the last cucumber at the little store today!), and I finally got some beef last night for iron, but I still feel exhausted.  The food is good, I just wish I had some more greens.

When my host mom is around, she cooks and serves me the food, and I am still not sure if I am allowed to go back for seconds (not that I really need any, they give me a pretty substantial first portion).  Whatever I don’t eat, we give to the dogs or the chickens.  Dogs in Panamá are not like dogs in the U.S.  Yes they are furry, slobber and follow you around, but they almost all have fleas and are dirty, and are trained from very young  to socialize with each other and use humans for food.  They also aren’t treated like the pets in the U.S., given dog beds, dog food, and allowed to lie on the couch.  There are tons of dogs in the town and all of them subsist on table scraps, run around outside, are hissed and yelled at to leave the house when they come near, and are not spayed or neutered and will probably produce many more such dogs.  This is not to say that Panamanians do not like their dogs.  Many of the dogs are spoken well of and looked after.  But dogs here are more utilitarian than they are in the states, one purpose being to eat table scraps.

I should also say that there isn’t really a town square or anything in my community.  In the very center of “town,” there is a large fútbol field, a primary school, a large covered pavilion, a small catholic church that only has services once a month when the priest comes, and a small store.  There are three dirt roads that pass around this center “square” and is lined with a bunch of colorful cement houses.  The kids attend the primary school, and then for secondary they can either commute to the nearest community, or go an extra 30 minutes to the provincial capital, La Chorrera.  There are only two stores in my community that I know of, and they are all basically a window to a room of someone’s house that is lined with useful things to buy, like chips, dulces, juice, and soap.  They only have packets of shampoo and conditioner, rather than actual bottles, and they sell only a handful of produce.  I have taken to going there every morning for a guineo, or tiny banana, and I think the potassium helps.

I have been told by several volunteers that pretty much all the girls gain weight.  Despite the fact that EVERYONE has told me that this will happen, I’m still optimistic…

Futbol is King!

In the center of “town” there is a very large field and everyday at 5pm the guys of the town gather to play fútbol, or soccer.  When I say 5pm, of course, I mean that they say they will meet at 5pm but don’t really start showing up until 5:30, and the game doesn’t start until about 15 minutes later.  (This is what we call hora panameña, or basically it starts when everyone gets there, and they get there when they get there.)  But eventually, everyday, all the guys play soccer from “5pm” until it gets dark around 7pm.  And they are all pretty impressive and have fancy footwork.  Of course, when they are playing a serious game they wear cleats, but a lot of times they play in crocs, flip flops and barefoot.  More than once I’ve seen someone carrying around a music player and listening to music while he ran around.  They begin to play soccer from the moment they are born.  Really – I saw an 18-month-old who could barely walk kicking a soccer ball with his dad before the game started.  I’m pretty sure he would be as good as I was, if he were four feet taller. 

I’ve played four times in the two weeks that I have been here, and despite the fact that I am pretty terrible, constantly lose the ball to the other team, and sometimes pull muscles just kicking the ball 10 feet, they seem pretty happy to have me play.  The first two games I wasn’t so sure they were so enthusiastic, but after I missed a third game they started calling me by name and asking when I was going to come back.  I think I may have impressed them when I intercepted a ball with my face and kept playing (yes, I have only been here two weeks and already I have bent my first pair of glasses).  They have even started passing the ball to me!  There are two other gringos who play, both better than me, but we all have a lot of fun and it’s a great way to burn off all the carbs they keep feeding us.  It also makes it easier to pour cold water on my head during my bucket bath at the end of the day.

Two weeks in

Warning: this will be a long entry since I haven’t been able to access internet in a week and I have a lot to say.  First a brief explanation about what I will be doing, then move on to describing my training community.  Hang in there, it will hopefully be interesting at points.

Let me take some time to explain Peace Corps/Panamá.  I have just finished my first of nine weeks of training, after which I will be sent to a community where I will work as a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) for the next two year.  Peace Corps is an organization that works to help people of developing nations develop the skills and capacity necessary to improve the quality of their own life.  PCVs live in a country for two years (in my case, Panamá) and work closely with a community to achieve three main goals: 1) help the people of that community improve their own lives; 2) promote a better and positive understanding of the American culture, and 3) promote a better understanding of other cultures by sharing their experience with people in the United States.   One of the best lessons I have learned in training so far is that PCVs serve more as facilitators and motivators than anything else.  Our time here will be more effective in the long run if the projects we work on are conceived, planned, built and maintained by the local community using local resources – very much bottom-up rather than top-down development.

Peace Corps/Panamá works in multiple sectors, including Environmental Health, Teaching English, Sustainable Agricultural Systems, and my sector, Community Environmental Conservation (CEC).  CEC itself can best be described as environmental education, but in reality covers a large range of potential projects, ranging from formal environmental education of teachers and students in the schools to environmental action in the community to engaging youth as environmental leaders.  Basically CEC strives to create an environmental ethic in the community.  We actually visited one site where the PCV had various projects, including an environmental youth group, teaching English, obtaining solar panels for the school, facilitating the construction of eco-stoves, and forming a group of women who baked and sold sweet breads for income.  In the end, each community is different and CEC volunteers need to look at the needs and resources of the community and go from there.

The first official day of training was Monday, and I was actually quite overwhelmed by everything that we would learn.  We had just moved in with our training host families so I was frustrated with my level of Spanish, we are going to have to learn a bunch of different theories, models and concepts, and I felt as though I wasn’t qualified to do what I am about do in the next two years.  But then after class I went to play soccer with the muchachos of the community and had a realization.  Let me first explain that I am not very good at soccer.  My experience is limited to a year of playing on the B team in middle school and improvised “jungle ball” while studying abroad in Costa Rica.  But I really love playing the game, and despite my inadequate technique I am tenacious enough that every once in a while I can get the ball to the right person.  I realized during this game that my time in Peace Corps will probably be a lot like playing a game of soccer – I may not be very good but I am persistent, know how to play on a team, and know enough of the game to make a difference.  As one of the people in my training class put it, knowing where to pass the ball is more important than making the goal.  I know this story may sound really kitchy, but it really helped me to calm down after an overwhelming 24 hours.

So far we have learned about what it means to be a PCV, agency partners we may work with (mostly Panamanian government organizations), how to conduct a community analysis, and, of course, culture and language lessons.  This weekend we will learn some gardening techniques and continue to learn how to travel around in Panama by ourselves.  It’s a lot, but we have a very large support group in the Peace Corps staff and our fellow volunteers.

The training community:

On Sunday, January 15, I and the others in CEC moved to our training community where we would live and learn for nine weeks.  We are all living with a different host family, attending Spanish classes in the morning and technical classes in the afternoon to provide us with a comprehensive education to prepare us culturally, technically and linguistically for our two years of service.

Let me just say, I love this community.  It doesn’t have very good cell phone service (there is one hill where you will find a bunch of gringos talking on their phone because that is the only place it works), we only have running (cold) water for about four hours a day, and the closest internet is an hour walk away.  But those things really don’t matter in the long run.  We are up in the hills, so the views are beautiful.  It’s sunny and hot, but the breeze is cool and constant.  The houses are simple and comfortable.  And everyone is so NICE.  There are maybe seven or eight major extended families here that have all inter-married, and they are all so excited that we are here.  The lady who hosts my Spanish class on her front porch told us to call her Mamá, gives us big hugs every time she sees us, and offers us snack at 10am every day.  The people who are hosting our training classes also bring us a merienda around 3pm.  One day they brought us fried bread and coffee they had picked and roasted themselves!  (This was a moment when I really wished I liked coffee…)

I also really like my host family.  Compared to most other host families it is small, considering my host parents only have two kids.  My host mom is the one I speak with the most since she is always home, but they are all very friendly and happy to host me.  I am the third Peace Corps Trainee (PCT) that they are hosting, and they love telling me about their previous two PCT guests.  The first day I had barely arrived before they took me to the river, a hot spot for locals in the summer time and they are already planning for other things to do in my few days off.  Their house is simple but comfortable.  When the water is running they keep a cistern full so that when the water isn’t running we can take bucket baths (which are a lot nicer than one might think) and use it to brush our teeth and wash our hands.  Instead of a flush toilet they have a latrine, which is also not so bad.  The entire house is open – we have windows that close, but there are openings in all the walls to allow air flow and a lot of free time is spent on the front porch.  At night the sound of the geckos calling to each other makes all of my bug bites feel a little bit better, knowing that something is eating the biters. 

One of the things that a lot of people here do during the summer is fish, and my host mom and brother caught several small fish (4-6 in) and are planning on frying them to a crisp and eating them whole.  I said that I would love to see how to cook them but I wasn’t interested in eating them, which made them laugh.  My little brother loves dinosaurs and reads everything he gets his hands on, so I let him look at my bird book.  Since we get Disney XD and Nickelodeon via satellite, I will watch TV shows like Dino Rey and Pucca with him.  I’m not sure what they are actually like in the states, but it’s still fun.  It reminds me of how dad always watched TV shows in Spanish when he was a kid.  We also get to watch Phineas and Ferb occasionally, movies like Carros and Monsters v. Aliens that are on every night, and we watched the Golden Globe Awards.  All in all, it’s a really enjoyable experience.

 If you have any questions about anything feel free to contact me and I will either email you back or answer them in my blog.  I’m pretty stoked to tell you everything that’s going on, so I hope you stay tuned!

My arrival

1/11/12

My first day in Panama has been long, sad, exciting and exhausting.  I’m pretty sure my bag has gotten heavier, despite the fact that I haven’t actually added anything to it.  We flew from Miami at noon and arrived right before 3pm here in Panama City.  It was an amazing arrival – we approached the north (Atlantic coast) quickly and descended through a layer of clouds to see low mountains and forests.  In about five minutes we had flown across the isthmus and were at the Pacific Ocean, right where Panama City is located.  Out my window I saw islands to the south of the city first, dark and grey under an overcast sky, and then as we turned to face the city I saw hundreds of barges waiting to enter the Canal, as our pilot told us.  It was beautiful, and I wish I had taken a picture.  As we continued to turn, Panama City appeared – tall buildings bursting from the flat coast and came all the way up to the water was sprawled and crammed all along the coast.  It was really startling to see so many high rises, since San Jose, Costa Rica, is so much smaller.  And then, of course, as we came into landing I didn’t realize there was an airport nearby until we had practically hit the ground – it was all forest and plants and then just as we were about to land the airstrip appeared.  Despite the fact that the International Airport has maybe a dozen gates, it is still a pretty important international hub.

Immigration and customs was smooth and short, and we all loaded our bus and headed to our “retreat location” an hour after landing.  The retreat location is called Ciudad del Saber (City of Knowledge) and is actually an old military barracks that now serves as offices for the Peace Corps, the UN, and other international organizations, as well as providing rooms for people visiting with these organizations and perhaps some study abroad programs?  I plan to investigate further tomorrow.  It is a really nice location – it reminds me of a tropical Fort Hood without all the military personnel.  Plus, it has a great view of the Miraflores locks in the Panama Canal, even though we only see the passing ships over a field and behind the buildings surrounding the lock.  It's pretty cool.  My training class (or the group of people I will train with for the next ten weeks) consists of volunteers who will teach English and volunteers who are working with Community Environment Conservation (CEC).  The English teachers get to stay at the Villas, as the barracks are called (though they are, in fact, pretty nice) and my group (CEC) gets to stay at a hotel downtown due to limited space.  Tomorrow we actually start training – I think tonight everyone is going to crash early.

The climate is warm and humid, and the sun is bright – I discovered I left my sunglasses at home on the bus ride.  I love recognizing all the tropical plants from Costa Rica.  It’s at a much lower elevation than San Jose, so it’s warm and humid all the time, not just during the day, and there aren’t as many mountains around.  The city is also much more cosmopolitan.  There were a lot of tall commercial buildings and high-rise apartments crammed in together.  But then on closer inspection a lot of the buildings didn’t look in very good condition, perhaps because of the proximity to the ocean.  There were also other pockets in the city that consisted of concrete huts on stilts with colorful cloth and Panamanian flags hanging in the window, even though pretty much all of the huts had Claro Satellites on the roofs.

Otherwise, it’s very familiar and comfortable.  I’m really excited to be here!  And of course all the people training with me are very friendly and nice.  It’s weird to think that eventually we will all be really close, when for now we barely know each other.  Slowly but surely…

Everyone is so nice here.  One of the things that I really like is that all of the staff who we are working with say “Welcome to my country.”  Everyone is so proud that we are here.