Week 5: Reality Check

This week has been an emotional roller coaster, which, as volunteers have told us, is common for the fifth week in.  It started out strong – I made homemade pineapple and red pepper pizza with my host family (perhaps the best thing I’ve eaten if for no other reason because it tastes like home), and spent the weekend hanging out with Panamanian children and going to the river to swim.  But Monday came and I woke up with a head cold, sore throat and cough, which has been exacerbated by the smoke from the burning trash.  Then I heard some gossip in the town about my relationship with my host family, which really brought me down and made me worry about nothing for a few days.  This town is very small, so that whenever anything happens that is even in the slightest worth talking about, it is talked about, and we have been told to prepare ourselves to be the subject of much bochinche, or gossip.  However, when I found out that I was finally of interest to talk about, it was really upsetting and made me fret about something that in the end was not really an issue at all and had been exaggerated through the grapevine.  The combination of being sick and feeling uncomfortable from the bochinche made me realize that I left everything that is comfortable and familiar to live in Panama, a foreign country that I barely know in a country town where I have never lived, for two years.  Basically, I finally felt homesick.

However, since Wednesday, things have been getting better.  During my rough two days, I came to fully appreciate the support group that I have in my fellow Peace Corps Trainees.  They were all there to listen to me, talk to me, and let me vent.  We have all been there for each other, and I know that they will be there for me for the next two years, too.  And this week has also been a lot of fun.  In my Spanish class for Valentine’s Day we made a delicious chocolate cake from scratch, and then Thursday we cooked an amazing lunch filled with fiber and vitamins and vegetables.  I’ve spent a lot of quality time with my host family and fellow Trainees.  I got to dance Conga, a traditional dance from a province in Panama with a lot of African influence, and although I did it horribly, everyone loved it and I had a lot of fun.  When a group of the trainees goes on a walk or the river, we are always accompanied by a group of Panamanian children and a pack of dogs.  I feel really accepted into my community – a lot of people shout my name to say hi and all the kids ask me when we will go to the river next.  And later today we will learn about where we will be for two years.  So although I do feel homesick from time to time, I have been able to form a really good community both in my town and in my fellow trainees and have been able to put perspective on everything.

My Spanish class and our chocolate cake!

And this is the Peace Pizza we made :)