Transitions

I am now more than two months into my service and I have (hopefully less than) a month left at my host family.  I really do love my host family – they treat me with respect, let me serve my own food, and I feel really comfortable talking to them about anything – but as someone who has essentially lived in her own house for the past four years, I am ready to have my own space.  I want to have my own kitchen so I don’t have guard my peanut butter and dark chocolate Nature Valley bars in my room.  I want to be able to choose what I eat, or choose not to eat if I am too full from previous meals.  I want to sprawl my stuff all over my house and play my music on speakers rather than earphones.  I want to choose to spend time with people and have the freedom to lay in a hammock by myself without being bothered.  I’m ready for my own house.  Unfortunately, as I write this the housing issue won’t be resolved for at least another week, since I need to have Peace Corps see the potential houses and approve that they have the appropriate level of security and privacy.  Not to mention, I still technically can’t live on my own for another three weeks.  So I’m just hanging out, looking on the bright side of having a host family.  For example, there is always delicious food and fruit lying around the house without me having to go forage for it on my own.  My host sisters are responsible for all the cleaning, so any cleaning I do is seen as generous rather than necessary.  And, of course, I have a group of friends to watch my novela with every weeknight.

This past week was also my first regional meeting, which is where all the volunteers in my region of the country get together to stay updated and network.  It was really great to hang out with a bunch of Peace Corps volunteers because, out of everyone in the world, we can relate to each other more than anyone else.  It was an opportunity to relax, talk about Panama, Panamanians, Peace Corps and each other, and eat whatever we wanted.  However, after the mini-vacation, it was really hard to transition back to my community, especially when I don’t have my own house.  It took me a few days to realize what I was doing here, since my schedule is so flexible and self-determined.  As I have been told by everyone in Peace Corps, whenever you feel off, the best thing to do is get out and go talk to people in your community, and I definitely agree.

Settling in

Things are still going well here.  Rainy season is trying to start, but there are still periods where it doesn’t rain for a few days.  I have found that I love rainy season – the rain is soothing (even the downpours or aguaceros), everything gets cooler, and it gives a good excuse to stay home.  Though I have been trying to visit people in spite of the rain.  I have also eaten quite a few mangos and avocadoes in the past few weeks, and I am delighted to say that both mango and avocado season are just getting started.  Last weekend, I experimented with different mango recipes (mango chicken, mango bread, mango ice, mango juice, mango salsa – pictures coming soon!), all of which turned out pretty well and impressed my host family.  I also made banana bread, but with a banana called guineo manzano (that tastes a lot like green apples) and the banana bread ended up tasting like green apple bread!  This weekend I am going to try mango crisp.  (I would like to thank my grandmother for the idea of substituting mango into peach and apple recipes, and my mother and sister for providing me recipe proportions over the phone when I didn’t have internet.)

I continue to visit people in the community (pasearing).  The past two weeks I’ve been too busy to get around everywhere, and this week I realized my absence was noticed when everyone told me in one way or another that I had abandoned them.  Even the soccer guys, who never really talked to me when I played, said I had disappeared.  Being the only gringa in the community means that I am kind of a celebrity.  While this has its perks (I am constantly given fruit and eggs, served the biggest and best portion of food before anyone else, and given rides when I am walking home), it also means that I get a lot of attention, people expect more of me, and I have to eat everything I am given, even if that means two lunches everyday and food I don’t like.

I have been going to the school and am slowly working on developing a work plan with the principal and teachers.  I’ve also been going to a lot of birthday parties, so I’ve been eating a lot of arroz con pollo, potato salad and birthday cake.  And this week I started working in the field planting name (yams?).  I figured that if I am going to try and introduce organic agricultural methods, I need to gain respect as a hard agricultural worker.  It is back-breaking labor, but extremely satisfying for me to work with my hands outside.  While I was working, they told me I should have brought my camera to take a picture to show you all, and when I came home my host dad bragged about all the work I did to my host mom.  One farmer here keeps bees, and I am starting to become his go-to when he needs help since I am one of the few people not afraid of being stung.

One of my biggest challenges right now is time management – deciding which activities I should be doing.  As an incurable achiever, I always feel like I should be everywhere at once.  If I am at the school, I feel like I should be pasearing.  If I am pasearing, then I think I should be reading Peace Corps literature and researching projects.  If I am reading Peace Corps literature, then I feel like I should be working in the fields.  If I am working in the fields, then I feel like I should be working with my local agencies.  If I am working with my local agencies, then I feel like I should be spending more time with my host family.  If I am spending time with my family, then I feel like I should be at the school.  It’s a deadly cycle and sometimes it really stresses me out, because I also need to take time to myself and relax every once in a while.  I love to lay in my hammock and read, cook while it’s raining, pick and eat fruit with my host family, or go to the river.  And of course, at 7:30 I am always at home watching my favorite telenovela, Una Maid en Manhattan (I am happy to report that it does not disappoint novela fans).  So although I am constantly busy, I feel like I am never getting everything I want done.  I am extremely happy here, though – I think I am starting to really become a part of the community (based on the birthday invitations, this is true at least).

I also have a cat!  Or rather, I will have a cat.  A while back, I shared with a family that I wanted to get a cat, and their daughter (who lives in a neighboring community) told me about a man who had kittens and that she would save me a kitten for when I have my own house.  So when I saw her at a birthday party, she told me she had saved a kitten for me, though it is still too young.  I haven’t met him yet, but she says he is yellow with brown spots.  I am really excited!  Next, I have to get a dog.