Transitions

I am now more than two months into my service and I have (hopefully less than) a month left at my host family.  I really do love my host family – they treat me with respect, let me serve my own food, and I feel really comfortable talking to them about anything – but as someone who has essentially lived in her own house for the past four years, I am ready to have my own space.  I want to have my own kitchen so I don’t have guard my peanut butter and dark chocolate Nature Valley bars in my room.  I want to be able to choose what I eat, or choose not to eat if I am too full from previous meals.  I want to sprawl my stuff all over my house and play my music on speakers rather than earphones.  I want to choose to spend time with people and have the freedom to lay in a hammock by myself without being bothered.  I’m ready for my own house.  Unfortunately, as I write this the housing issue won’t be resolved for at least another week, since I need to have Peace Corps see the potential houses and approve that they have the appropriate level of security and privacy.  Not to mention, I still technically can’t live on my own for another three weeks.  So I’m just hanging out, looking on the bright side of having a host family.  For example, there is always delicious food and fruit lying around the house without me having to go forage for it on my own.  My host sisters are responsible for all the cleaning, so any cleaning I do is seen as generous rather than necessary.  And, of course, I have a group of friends to watch my novela with every weeknight.

This past week was also my first regional meeting, which is where all the volunteers in my region of the country get together to stay updated and network.  It was really great to hang out with a bunch of Peace Corps volunteers because, out of everyone in the world, we can relate to each other more than anyone else.  It was an opportunity to relax, talk about Panama, Panamanians, Peace Corps and each other, and eat whatever we wanted.  However, after the mini-vacation, it was really hard to transition back to my community, especially when I don’t have my own house.  It took me a few days to realize what I was doing here, since my schedule is so flexible and self-determined.  As I have been told by everyone in Peace Corps, whenever you feel off, the best thing to do is get out and go talk to people in your community, and I definitely agree.